Level 1 Thief
Vimes was born far to the east in the land of Burntetoest, into a noble family with a… dubious history. Much is unknown how the Vimes came to be a noble family and when, but it said to involve, murder, theft, war, and chicken.
Vimes’ family consisted of his father Dam, his mother Ran, his two brother Yam and Bam, and his little sister Can. None of them were “good” people but they weren’t the worst either. Just cruisin’ in the middle, being of little importance… unless there is chicken involved.
The Vimes made their trade by lending out skilled soldiers and food (mostly chicken) to the highest bidder. The quality of both their soldiers (and the chicken) was praised by all in the land and some… other… thing… world… space. It’s an ongoing discussion.
For atleast hundreds of years the Vimes was firmly in control of the most of the soldiers (and chicken) in the land of Burntetoest. Until they weren’t.
As is the case with all great Houses and Lands, coin rules all. And the Vimes wasn’t known for maintaining a good economy. Most of it was used for chicken.
The other noble houses was not fond of the Vimes’ warrior/chicken empire they had established and conspired for many years to bring them down. And many times they were unsuccessfull in destroying the Vimes. Mostly due to their own incompetence, but who bothers to keep a score…
About 15 years ago however, the Vimes was destroyed. No one knows how, not even the last living survivor. Some say magic was the reason why. And some say the other Houses finally got their shit together and did something, but no one actually believes that. Others say it was a mutiny amongst ungrateful soldiers who were eating chicken. No one knows, and few today care.
Well… atleast One thieving, rude, arrogant, ungrateful, cigar-smoking, chicken-eating asshole still cares. A little bit. And he’s hellbent on getting back up to the social class of nobility, not for the sake of vengeance mind you, but because chicken